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We live in a world of certain irrefutable facts.  The sun will always rise in the east.  Dane Cook will never be funny.  And the average male is addicted to fantasy sports. 

Addicted like a crack fiend.  He’d enter a fantasy Jai-Alai league if Yahoo! offered one.  Thus, it stands to reason that when late October rolls around, said average male will figure it’s not enough to annoy his wife or girlfriend by poring obsessively over a make-believe Internet football team.  He’ll double her displeasure and throw a little roundball in the mix.  Sad, but such is life.  And as long as you’re clearing the path towards a busted relationship, it might as well be over a winning team, right?  So who among the Lakers and Clippers can lend a hand towards prosperity?I assume the remotely roto-competent types are already privy to certain info.  For example,  should you need me to explain why Kobe Bryant is worth a top 5 overall pick, it smacks of that classic poker saying: ”If you don’t know who the sucker at the table is, it’s probably you.”  Along those lines, I also doubt a primer on Corey Maggette’s scoring ability or Lamar Odom’s stat-notching versatility is required.  But what about various Lakers and Clippers who aren’t on the A-List?  Guys who may not be worth an early round selection, but could nonetheless play a role in creating a championship squad.  Those ballers can be the difference in rounding out a triumphant roster, so here are a few suggestions, plus a player from each team that I’d pass on altogether.

LAKERS

Ronny Turiaf (PF/C): ”Enthusastic sideline dances for all occasions” aren’t the hot new stat in leagues nationwide (although if you do happen to be in one where the stat carries weight, by all means, this is the guy to draft #1 overall).  But while Turiaf’s best known as the NBA’s most entertaining  “energy” player, his stats reveal one block per game, an impressive clip at just 15 mpg.  Good enough, in fact, to place him eighth among centers for blocks per minute,according to ESPN Insider stat guru John Hollinger.  Phil Jackson has floated the idea of starting the continually improving Turiaf at power forward, but even if Ronny plays off the pine, larger minutes appear on the horizon.  Sleeper alert.

Jordan Farmar/Javaris Crittenton (PG): Former “Threepeat” point guard Derek Fisher is back in and will certainly start.  But he rarely played 35 minutes in his prime and at age 33 might not even play 30.  Thus, a bushel of backup (and potentially productive) minutes are available and two youngsters want to gobble them up.  Farmar’s got the experience edge (albeit just one season) and has gotten more run during a very nice camp, but Crittenton has earned Jackson’s praise as well.  I wouldn’t draft either, but keep an eye on both as the season progresses.   If one banishes the other to strictly garbage minutes, the winner could be a decent play in a pinch.

Chris Mihm (C): It’s hard to know what to expect from Mihm this season.  On one hand, he was averaging a career best 10.2 points and 6.2 boards during the 2005-2006 season before suffering a brutal ankle injury that required multiple surgeries.  On the other, he’s missed over a season’s worth of ball and has looked quite rusty during preseason efforts.  However, the starting center job remains up for grabs and when healthy, Mihm is more offensively polished than Andrew Bynum and Kwame Brown.  There’s also been talk of him playing power forward.  Perhaps worth a “low risk, high reward” flyer in the late rounds. 

AVOID: Kwame Brown (C/PF).  He might win the starting center- or even power forward- gig, but Brown shines mostly as an interior post defender, a valuable skill that’s worth bupkis to a fantasy squad.  In the meantime, the fumbled passes, missed point blank layups, wildly inconsistent rebounding and continual injuries will drive a fantasy owner to drink.  Or make a zillion mean spirited “cake” jokes, if said owner is a teetotaler.

CLIPPERS

Ruben Patterson (SF): He’s coming off a career season for points (14.7) and FG% (54.8, king among small forwards).  He was also good for 1.4 steals a game and a respectable 5.4 boards.  And despite being undersized, Patteron’s defensive ability, toughness and ability to score in the post might entice Coach Mike Dunleavy to play him at power forward in an injured Elton Brand’s absence.  This could mean big minutes as yeoman 6th man. 

Brevin Knight (PG):  He’s diminutive (or as enternal sunshine types phrase it, “a mighty 5″10″).  He’s often hurt.  And according to Dunleavy, his acclimation to L.A. might have included too much In-N-Out.  But the dude can dish, with last season’s quality 6.6 dimes representing his lowest in three seasons.  His 2.1 turnovers make him less prone than some other point guards, but at 5th among his peers in steals, he’s adept at causing them.  You could obviously do better than the Stanford alum as your starting point, but if you’re otherwise stacked and seeking a few specific stats, he could get you by.  

Chris Kaman (C): Yeah, it’s weird to recommend somebody coming off the most disappointing season of his career, one where he actually regressed.  But Kaman seems determined to bounce back, between the offseason weight shed and a willingness to play in the Summer League.  Plus, with Brand hurt, Kaman is unquestionably the team’s paint Kahuna, so he should get fed often down low.  Unless there’s a serious run on centers, I wouldn’t take him before the middle rounds.  But if last season was a mere hiccup and not a trend, he could end up a more than serviceable starter. 

Al Thornton (SF/PF): It’s undecided whether the majority of his minutes will be at small or power forward.  What’s not up for debate?  That the kid is kicking ass thus far in the preseason.   He’s hit double figures five times in six games, thrice coming up with 20+.  He’s got an ability to score inside or out and he’ll get opportunities to do both on this ammo-depleted squad. 

AVOID: Tim Thomas (SF/PF) He disappoints every team he joins.  Why should yours be any different?  And since he’s enjoying “fat and happy” long term contract status, even the extra shots coming with Brand on the bench ain’t enough to break his path of underachievement.  Unless you’re desperate for treys (and a whole lotta coasting), you can do better.

-AK

Andrew Kamenetzky hosts Lakers Blog and Blue Notes: A Dodgers Blog for latimes.com. In addition to his work with the Times, he is a contributing writer for ESPN The Magazine, espn.com and expn.com, and co-authored Fishing on the Edge, the autobiography of B.A.S.S. fishing bad boy Mike Iaconelli.

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