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They seem like an odd couple, don’t they, the self-important actor and the self-controlled coach? But Sean Penn and Karl Dorrell do have something in common.

Dead Men Walking.

It may not be fair for it to happen now. Tell me, what coach in America’s toughest college football league COULD survive the loss of his top two quarterbacks and best running back? But it won’t only be this particular sub-.500 season that gets Dorrell fired. It will be the five years of one step forward and two steps back. The maddening inconsistencies and second half of the season collapses.  Bit by bit, they’ve amped up the pressure to the point where A.D. Dan Guerrero will feel he has no choice.

The bonehead personal foul penalties called against the Bruins’ two best leaders, Bruce Davis and Christian Taylor in the latest loss on Saturday smacked (pardon the pun) of a team fighting desperately and futilely for both themselves and the job of their head coach. But I give Davis and Taylor, two committed seniors, credit for wanting it as much as they do.

Dorrell’s days at UCLA are down to a precious few, but at least the Bruins won’t lose this week. They play BYE. Unfortunately, the Bruins are still seven point underdogs.

Over at USC, don’t be fooled by the Trojans’ two losses to Arizona State’s one. I look for the Trojans (8-2, No. 11) to give ASU (9-1, No. 9) a devil of a beating when they visit Tempe on the 22nd.

There is noticeable improvement in SC’s two young wideouts, Patrick Turner and Vidal Hazelton.

John David Booty is an accomplished enough college QB, but he’s no Matt Leinart in terms of mistake-free precision. Of course, Booty doesn’t have Bush, White, Smith and Jarrett making highlight-film plays at the skill positions, either. But he’s enough to get the job done.

It would be a mistake to judge the Lakers’ progress on their next two road games in Texas. San Antonio and Houston, both 6-1, are a load for anyone. But this Texas two-step is the sort of test that Kobe lives for. Figure on the Lakers giving the Spurs a good run Tuesday night. The wrong end of the back-to-back in Houston Wednesday evening could be more troublesome.

Still, with softies Chicago, Indiana, Jersey and Seattle just around the corner, it looks like the Lakers are going to weather the early schedule storm and be none the worse for it heading into December.

Now if Kobe and the Busses will just kiss and make up, and if the Kobester gives this Laker team a chance to evolve without undue scrutiny and criticism from– oh, that’s right– KB24 himself, this Laker season could work out better than many people think.

Kobe isn’t going anywhere and, now, neither is Andrew Bynum.

Another factor in the Lakers’ favor is Lamar Odom being able to move to the ‘3′. Thanks to the Lakers’ great length and size up front, Odom can play small forward, keeping him from having to bang with the big-boy 4’s. He can also post up virtually all the small forwards who have to guard him.

UCLA’s win Monday night against Youngstown State could have been called March of the Penguins. Literally, since YSU are, in fact, the Penguins. Which, in terms of their chances against the second ranked Bruins, gave them something in common with their feathered cousins, the Sitting Ducks.

Someone asked me what Youngstown State gets out of playing UCLA. Well, start with a trip to L.A., a nice check, a sound beating and a chance to tell everyone back home they saw all the banners in Pauley Pavilion. Toss in the chance at a John Wooden sighting, and things get really exciting. All things considered, there are worse fates.

New York Newsday is quoting a Dominican source saying that if Mariano Rivera can’t re-sign with the Yankees, his second choice is the Dodgers and Joe Torre.

How would that 8-9 close look? Saitosan followed by Rivera? Or might it be the other way around?

Three kids the Dodgers should NOT give the Marlins in exchange for Miguel Cabrera are Chad Billingsley, Clayton Kershaw and James Loney.

Billingsley could be your staff ace in ‘08, if not by reputation, then certainly by performance. You never give away a young lefty (Kershaw), especially one who hits 96 or 97 on the gun. And Loney could be a future NL batting champion.

Matt Kemp, Andre Ethier, Jonathan Broxton and/or Abbott & Costello’s favorite shortstop, Hu (that’s Chin-Lung, for those keeping score)…they’re all fair game for Florida far as I am concerned.

Ted Green is Senior Sports Producer for KTLA Prime News, a former sportswriter for the L.A. Times and National Sports Daily, and Kobe’s new favorite dime-store psychologist

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