SportsHubLA

Got question? The Answer Man got answer.

What does the 2-month absence of star-in-the-making Andrew Bynum mean to the Lakers?

Like UPS, they’re going to find out what Brown can do for you.

What CAN Kwame Brown do?

I understand he’s an excellent cake thrower.

Will it be hard for Kwame to fill Bynum’s shoes?

No harder than Kwame’s free throws.

What was Phil Jackson’s reaction after Bynum crashed to the floor holding his knee?

You mean after he fainted?

Can Lamar Odom pick up the scoring slack for Bynum?

That’s a good one. Next question, please.

C’mon, can he?

Depends on the night, just not every night.

We know Kobe is the No. 1 scoring option? Who becomes No. 2 now?

Also Kobe.

So who’s 3?

Do I have to repeat myself?

In this his option year, will Kwame catch on that he can make this a salary drive?

First he has to catch a pass in the post.

Why isn’t Kwame insured by Allstate?

He’s not one of the Good Hands People.

Can the Lakers still win the West with Kwame at center?

That’s funny, too. Keep going, you’re on a roll.

Answer Man, I see where a new steroid report is now implicating not just athletes but entertainers from hip hop and movies.

It’s true. In fact, Mary J Blige just went Platinum and hit 42 homers for the Dodgers.

What does Lindsay Davenport’s venture into motherhood prove?

That you don’t have to be Britney Spears’ sister to get your name in the paper.

What song will the Chargers be singing after Sunday’s AFC title game at New England?

Cry Me a Rivers.

Do you think Roger Clemens is going to testify in front of Congress?

Not unless he wants to share a cell with Barry Bonds.

In “A League of Their Own,” Tom Hanks famously said: there’s no crying in baseball. Is there crying in football?

Let me ask Terrell Owens.

Did Jessica Simpson have any effect on Tony Romo in the Cowboys’ playoff loss?

Thanks to the influence of Jess’ sister, I saw Tony lip synching his audibles.

Did Bobby Knight really use the word bull*hit during a press conference with his 21-month-old grandson seated in his lap?

Believe me, the kid’s heard worse.

What did one pundit mean when he said Eli Manning will win the NFC title game at Lambeau Field when hell freezes over?

Obviously, a reference to Green Bay.

Can the Clippers find themselves and save their season?

They have a better chance of finding Osama bin Laden.

Back to Kwame. They say he has small hands. What does that mean?

I know what it means, just don’t look at me when you say it.

Ted Green is Senior Sports Producer for KTLA Prime News and a former sportswriter for the L.A. Times and National Sports Daily. For a man standing 5-11, his hands are quite large

Discuss:

---