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(Author’s disclosure: The Answer Man has been sent to the bench, ejected with two T’s for failing to stop making bad puns. Today, a straight-ahead look at the NBA playoffs is billed at the top of the marquees.)

Presumptive ‘08 MVP runner up Chris Paul vs. ‘07 Finals MVP Tony Parker in Round 2 is Must-See TV. The most compelling one-on-one matchup in the ‘08 playoffs. Maybe the most intriguing duel in a very long time.

I feel sorry for Steve Nash, who is going to end up having a Patrick Ewing/Charles Barkley ring-less NBA career.

Parker turned Nash from Stevie Wonder into Stevie I Wonder What the-Heck’s Going On. Two-time MVP Nash got old before our eyes in the Spurs series.

Mike D’Antoni has probably coached his last game in Phoenix. Three cracks at it with a star-studded roster, no trips to the Finals. In Italian, arrivederci.

Can you imagine having to shell out $20 mil for Shaq next season? Bless his poker-playin’, bimbo-dating heart, Jerry Buss got it absolutely right when he shipped Shaq out.

Dot com billionaire Mark Cuban is going to blow up his Dot bomb Dallas Mavericks, starting with coach Avery Johnson.

Asked if D’Antoni and Johnson are in trouble in Dallas and Phoenix, TNT’s Charles Barkley said, “Yes, I think they’re in trouble, because everyone wants instant gratification.” This from a guy who calls D Wade on his Fave Five to ask for NBA socks because his footsies are cold.

Mavs’ pot smoker Josh Howard is an obvious p.r. problem, but the bigger issue is all about basketball: what to do with Dirk Nowitzki?

I’m feelin’ CP3 and the Hornets, but a Lakers-Spurs Western final seems predestined. Lakers in 7, by the way, unless the Spurs go Nash and suddenly show their liver spots. Then Lakers in 6.

Assuming they get past the pesky Rockets, the Utah Jazz will try to push and pound and provoke the Lakers because that’s what Jerry Sloan teams do, but they will be sent back to the land of Big Love in five games.

The NBA fined Boston’s Paul Pierce $25,000 for supposedly using a hand gesture to make a sign familiar to the Bloods gang in L.A., where Pierce is from. But what Celtic fans are really looking for from their team is a sign of life.

I think Pierce channeled Daniel Day Lewis. When he gestured toward the Hawks’ bench, I think he meant: There Will Be Blood.

Separated at birth: Have George Karl and John Lithgow ever been seen in the same place together? Google them, the resemblance is stunning.

Ex-Laker Jennaro Pargo is quite the little Energizer Bunny coming off the New Orleans bench.

Pargo left L.A. because Phil Jackson doesn’t like small guards, but the Zen Master has a very similar player in Jordan Farmar.

If Lamar Odom is your third best player and Luke Walton somewhere between your sixth and 10th best, you are ridiculously deep. Deepest team in the league.

DeShawn Stevenson made headlines with his Phi Beta Kappa remark about LeBron James being overrated. Fact is, Adlai Stevenson has a better chance of guarding LeBron, and he isn’t even alive.

Another team ripe to be blown up is the Denver Nuggets, who got a jump on the job by imploding on their own. The Nuggets will never win a meaningful game when A-I and ‘Melo take turns either overdribbling (Iverson) or holding the ball forever (Anthony) before they go one on one.

I’m sorry for not mentioning Detroit, Philly, Washington, Orlando or Toronto in this column, but I can’t muster the enthusiasm. Can you?

OK, you’re right. Dwight Howard is a beast. (I feel better.)

Locker-room leader Derek Fisher of the Lakers reminds me of Rudy T’s famous line about the Olajuwon Rockets: Never underestimate the heart of a champion.

Ted Green is Senior Sports Producer for KTLA Prime News and a former sportswriter for the L.A. Times and National Sports Daily. Although often mistaken for a young male model, the first NBA game he covered was Wilt Chamberlain’s very last.

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