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First of all: Circumstances scuttled my scheduled recap after Game 2 of the Utah/LA series and for this I apologize greatly, especially because I promised the world a challenge between points by Kobe Bryant vs. ads for shows produced by Ted Turner. The problem? It’s finals week here in scenic Watts (that’s where USC is, for anyone confused about collegiate geography), and I had been up for some 32 hours-I watched the game and fell asleep until 11 am Thursday morning, at which point I had to watch Citizen Kane and Sargeant York before my 4:30 final. (That’s what we study in LA.) Anyway, there were about 12 ads for The Closer, Saving Grace, The Bill Engvall Show, House of Payne, and My Boys combined, which meant Kobe’s 34 totally blew them out of the water.

The big story here is a lone spot for House of Payne, probably because it was actually showing on TBS during the game. Just a huge hole to try and overcome for Ted Turner.

Again, my apologies. To redeem myself, have this video of Arizona signee Brandon Jennings’ junior season at Oak Hill Academy, which is better than most college programs and possibly the Timberwolves’.

Dayumn.

Derrick Rose’s hold on the “Best YouTube Guard of All Time” award has been relinquished. Those who know me understand I use the word “ill-matic” with extreme caution, but Brandon Jennings most definitely embodies that lofty standard. And he’s added a high-top fade. I might root for Arizona when they come to the Galen Center this year.

And now, the point: Wednesday night was probably the best I have ever seen Kobe Bryant play on the offensive side of the ball. I am aware he has doubled his point production from Wednesday on multiple occasions. I have not lost my tiny mind. (Actually, it’s finals week, so I may well have lost my tiny mind. But I can explain myself. Read on.) Kobe was efficient, relentless, and took not one questionable shot until the fourth quarter, when the otherwise useless Matt Harpring either bothered him or induced ennui. (I’m going with the latter.) When Kobe goes off for 50+, it’s often because he starts hitting unguardable and ridiculous shots you can’t believe he’s taking until they go in. In this one, though, he just made it all look so easy. It was more fun to watch than Carlos Boozer self-immolating, and I enjoy me some Carlos Boozer failure.

Meanwhile, the second part of the must-watch troika in the NBA, as well as the active player most often compared to Kobe Bryant, has played the worst offensive games I’ve ever seen from him in Games 1 and 2 against the Celtics. What happened to LeBron James? I’ll tell you.

1. It’s not just the jumper.

Many say that LBJ needs a consistent jumper to be as consistently unstoppable as Kobe. They’ll talk about his shaky J, and note that Kobe has one of the Association’s deadliest outside games. The reality is a little different. You know how many shots Kobe Bryant has made outside of 13 feet in the first two games of the Utah series, 34 and 38 point performances which featured some of his most efficient offensive lines of the season?

Two.

In both games. Combined. That’s one more than LeBron James has made in his two games against the Celtics. How many outside jumpers has Kobe shot in his two games against the Jazz? 10. LeBron? 26. (Making him 1-26. Feel free to wince. LeBron’s shooting a highway right now.)

Kobe’s a great jump shooter. I would no sooner play HORSE with him than anybody in the NBA. But he shoots 36% from three, up from 34/35/34.5 in the post-Shaq years, and he shoots 41.5% from midrange, putting his percentage right alongside Mike Miller and Ray Allen’s. (Only three players in the league shoot better than 50% from midrange: Kyle Korver, Steve Nash, and Mo Williams.) LeBron shot 36% from midrange this season, not good but better than the 5.6% he’s shot from midrange against Boston. If he was shooting Kobe’s percentage from midrange against Boston, he’d be 18-44 on the series, and that’s assuming his jumper wouldn’t fall off against the best defensive team in basketball. Would LeBron be better with a more consistent jump shot? Absolutely. Would it be a panacea and make him absolutely unstoppable at all times? No.

The argument here is that having a solid outside game “opens up lanes” to the basket, but I’m not sold on that. LeBron’s jump shot FG% went up all of .05% this year, but he was able to get to the basket far more than last year. Also, with 40% of his shots coming “inside,” it’s hard to imagine a perimeter player getting to the basket more than LeBron this year, even with a killer J. For the sake of comparison, Kobe’s at 25%. So why is Kobe carving up playoff defenses while LeBron is getting absolutely disemboweled?

2. The Post-Up Game.

As listed, LeBron James has two inches and 50 pounds on Kobe Bryant. If you believe LeBron’s appraisal of his size, 3 inches and 60 pounds. And yet Kobe Bryant is the far better post-up player of the two. It’s exceedingly bizarre. Whenever Jerry Sloan would put the smaller Ronny Brewer on Kobe, he’d go to ten feet, seal him off, and post him up for an easy pass or an easy basket (or a ridiculous fading double-clutch bank shot-LeBron leads the league in gasps, but Kobe is the king of the play that just makes you shake your head, laugh, and say “damn, he’s good at this game.”) Go to the tape-he’s doing a good deal of his damage by taking Brewer into the post and hitting easy-for-Kobe shots over either shoulder. When a big doubles down on a guy posting up inside the paint, he’s blocked off by his own man, and Kobe turns to his opposite shoulder and drops the easy one.

LeBron could be a fantastic post-up weapon. He’s ambidextrous, plays the glass as well as anyone, is ridiculously difficult to play physical with, and is bigger than nearly everyone who tries to guard him. Still, his post-ups happen 20 feet from the basket and usually end with him facing up or just waiting for the double to come so he can pass to a teammate for a fairly low-percentage shot.

3. The Quick Move.

So Ronny Brewer wasn’t exactly working. The Jazz then tried putting the bigger Andrei Kirilenko, who’s 6-10 and can tie other people’s shoes standing straight up. What happened? Kobe quickly to a drive or crossover, beating Kirilenko off the dribble before he had a chance to react. There was no chance to send a second defender or hedge for the jumper. LeBron prefers to wait for his offense and grab a pick, often putting two defenders on him some 26 feet away from the basket. Nobody’s better at driving the lane than LeBron James, but sometimes he doesn’t take advantage of easy opportunities to do so.

4. Dealing with the second defender.

In a way, it’s almost a good thing that LeBron doesn’t have a set of moves to deal with help defense. 95% of the time when he gets past his man, there isn’t a defender fast enough to rotate and stop him. When LeBron James gets moving with more than two steps toward the basket, he’s so fast, strong, and good around the rim there’s really very little that can be done. Choices include conceding the points, tacking on the and-one (that seems to be a popular one with LeBron’s opponents), or a foul hard enough to put him on the line that flirts with a flagrant. The options are almost always favorable for Cleveland when LeBron gets penetration, so he’s better off just damning the torpedoes. (KSK patriarch/Bissinger favorite Big Daddy Drew had an excellent column on this move in Deadspin. Warning for language.)

However, in Kevin Garnett he’s facing a help defender big and fast enough to get in perfect position and stop his drives after he gets past the perimeter defense, and he has no clue what to do in that situation. Generally he dumps it to a teammate, getting it back at the key only to run into help defense again. Very similar to a bird who used to run into my window every morning when I was in middle school.

Kobe, like every other human being on the planet, is not the physical freak LeBron is, and thus has a more nuanced approach to help defense which serves him well in the playoff atmosphere. He can change pace and look off the help after he makes his initial move. He can fade back and take a seven footer. He’s the best in the league at dumping the ball to his big men when he’s in the lane, often while in mid-air, occasionally behind the center’s goddamn head.

5. The free points.

LeBron averages more free throws per game than Kobe, but that’s to be expected given how much he drives and how much contact he attracts. He earns his free throws. Kobe, by contrast, gets Truly Free Points. I’m not accusing Kobe of being Dwayne Wade here- although he does like to do that little air-swim whenever he loses the ball driving to the basket in an attempt to draw a whistle. Instead, Kobe uses savvy to get easy points, whether it be the head-fake and contact or the rip-through the arm, or the finding contact off the dribble when the other team’s in the bonus. Also, Kobe shoots his free throws at a 15% higher clip than LeBron, which, despite the obvious benefits, gives him more confidence to look for contact and go to the line.

6. The Ball Movement.

Maybe I’m just giving LBJ the kid gloves here, but I think this is the biggest factor of all. Kobe’s facing far less attention from Utah (it’s relative) than LeBron against the Celtics. It’s not really because of the way the defense is designed-Pau Gasol and Lamar Odom are very good, but I’d rather have one of them beat me all day. Kobe isn’t running into green-trimmed (or in his case, blue-trimmed) walls every time he goes to the basket because the offense doesn’t allow it. Kobe Bryant is rarely touching the ball outside of 16 feet, and if he’s getting the ball on the perimeter, it’s after weak-side penetration or doubles on Odom, Gasol, Fisher, or the rest of the bunch, thus not allowing the defense to load up a strong-side wall to prevent Kobe from penetrating and giving Kobe only one man to beat for a lane at the rim, which is easy. (Again, for Kobe.)

The Lakers are basically running a perfect European offense with penetration and movement aplenty, plus inside-out post-ups by Gasol. (This is a good offense.) If the Jazz choose to have three guys watch Kobe at all times, Lamar Odom will be dropping in layups behind their backs all night. They know that.

In contrast, the only European thing the Cavaliers offense resembles is World War I.

LeBron James takes the ball at 30 feet, and calls for a Zydrunas Ilgauskas pick, or runs off baseline screens while Delonte West/Daniel Gibson does nothing and then gets the ball at the top of the key so he can get a Zydrunas Ilgauskas pick. There is generally a pause here, at which point Mike Brown, to his credit, does not shout “You should set up your defense to stop LeBron now!” However, they do it anyway, and with the screener’s man and the help defender set, LeBron James now has three people directly attempting to stop him from getting to the basket. If he goes to the wing, the weak-side defender can hedge and that number goes to four. Nothing is good about this.

ONE PLAYER CANNOT CONSISTENTLY EXPERIENCE ANY KIND OF SUCCESS AGAINST AN ELITE DEFENSIVE TEAM.

When they are allowed to set up, they can easily put multiple bodies to prevent lanes to the basket and rotate well enough to prevent easy looks from anyone else. A caveat to this entire article: LeBron had success against both the Celtics in the regular seasons before he faced them in the playoffs. Whatever. The intensity steps up in the playoffs, especially on the defensive end. Kobe has not faced an elite defensive team in the playoffs since Shaq left. Should he, Gasol and Co. will help keep him safe, but be warned that harder times could be ahead.

In the playoffs, heroes are made and empires fall in days, only to be reversed within the week, but right now it looks like King James has a lot of learning to do before he can carve up a team like the Celtics like he’s carved up everyone else in his brief but already memorable career. He can start by tuning into tonight’s Game 3 between the Jazz and Lakers.

John Krolik is the author/host of Truth in a Bullet Fedora. His work can also be found on Free Darko, and the Most Valuable Network.

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