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The Jazz hit more low notes than high notes in Game 1, but they did hit every Laker in sight, even Phil Jackson when Ronnie Brewer fell in Phil’s lap.
Percussion? Game 1 looked more like a concussion.
-The Lakers are better than the Jazz and could win the series in five games even if they continue […]

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(Author’s disclosure: The Answer Man has been sent to the bench, ejected with two T’s for failing to stop making bad puns. Today, a straight-ahead look at the NBA playoffs is billed at the top of the marquees.)
Presumptive ‘08 MVP runner up Chris Paul vs. ‘07 Finals MVP Tony Parker in Round 2 is Must-See […]

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(Here are 20 full-length feature stories, culled down into digestible observations about the Laker-Denver series that continues this weekend):
They’re called the Enver Nuggets because, as we all now know, there’s no D in Denver.
Carmelo, A-I and J.R. Smith each have one tattoo for every time they’ve gotten lost on defense.
The Nuggets think a zone trap […]

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(Answer: No, they didn’t. But here are some sports conversations that could take place if people said what they were really thinking.)

Reporter to Kobe: Do you think you’re the MVP?
Kobe: Is Obama smart? Is Hillary annoying? Is McCain 100? Was that cool when I jumped over the Aston Martin? What do YOU think?
Lamar Odom: […]

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Answer Man, you’ve been pretty obnoxious in your vocal support of Kobe Bryant for MVP this year.
Careful, one more technical foul like that and you’ll be suspended.
C’mon, how can you be so sure Kobe is MVP?
I became completely convinced when Kobe yelled it into my tape recorder.
But what about Kobe’s 15 T’s?
No one said he […]

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So UCLA needed CPR and an ER after CDR, that’s Chris Douglas-Roberts, hung a DNR sign on the Bruins at the Final Four.
That’s Do Not Resuscitate.
Ah, except proving every cloud has a silver lining, or proving further that any good UCLA alum (like me) can find the pony amongst the horse manure, could the Memphis […]

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Every time I hear the name Kevin Love and see the so-called experts naively underestimate him because he’s one of those White Men Who Can’t Jump, I always think of me and Larry Bird.
Quick backtrack: In 1978, the L.A. Times sent its young NBA reporter, another alleged b-ball expert, to French Lick, Indiana, to write […]

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It’s almost as hot as the race between Hillary and Obama. And the more you watch the two Dems campaign, it’s damn well more interesting and less repetitive.
I’m talking about the debate over who should be the NBA’s Most Valuable Player this season. It’s a debate that is not democratic, but partisan all the way. […]

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Answer Man, as spectacular as he is playing, why WOULDN’T Kobe be the MVP this year?
Because the East Coast writers and broadcasters who have the majority of the votes think there’s nothing west of Cleveland except Hawaii and Bora Bora.
Why does Joel Meyers call Sasha Vujacic “The Machine”?
Because no one would know the Slovenian word […]

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So someone allegedly, probably, stuck a needle in Roger Clemens’ behind. So maybe you are among those Americans who think a government with far more complex problems it can’t fix is making a federal case about it.
Well now, you’re absolutely right.
They’re making a federal case by asking the DOJ–that’s the Department of Justice–to open […]

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